Staying Safe During Tantric and Yoni Massage in Manchester
Everything I do is based on ethics, safety, consent and boundaries. And it isn’t done once. It’s a continued practice of reflection and refinement.
This is a very nuanced and sensitive field, and I care deeply about the process. I have no idea what it’s like to be a woman, but I recognise the courage it must take to ask for something like this. It takes a tremendous amount of trust, and I don’t take that lightly. I do what I can, and I keep refining it.
- Ongoing, informed consent
- Your boundaries are honoured throughout
- Private and confidential
Ongoing Informed Consent
I believe the work that I do is deeply profound because clients trust and fully surrender into their experience. To support this I prioritise clear communication and ongoing empowered consent.
Each session begins with a conversation to go through your intake form and work on your intentions and to create a safe space to express your needs, desires, and confirm your boundaries.
To put the mind at ease and reduce anxiety I explain your chosen Bodywork session in detail.
A full explanation leaves nothing to the imagination as all options are clarified.
I emphasise empowered consent, meaning that before approaching any intimate spaces I always invite a deep breath into the body and to listen to how it responds after giving options.
‘Breathe into your body and see how it responds when I offer to massage the face, the abdomen or the chest and breast tissue. What feels comfortable for you?’
‘If anything changes, please let me know by asking for a pause or say stop.’
This way, the session progresses in an empowered way where you are informing me of your wishes.
Saying “Pause” Or “Stop”
In every session I encourage you to practise saying pause, or stop, or setting a boundary, so you can feel that it is heard and respected.
Sometimes an honoured “Ben, can we pause?” or “please can we stop” is the medicine you came to the session for. Many times a client has burst into tears at the significance of it. It goes back to the times her boundary wasn’t respected, and it goes forward, to support her to know that her boundary should be respected.
These words are never taken as rejection. They are celebrated.
Accredited Standards And Ethics
I am a certified therapist member of the International Institute of Holistic Therapies, an independent accrediting body for holistic therapists and healers, and every session I offer follows its code of ethics and standards of practice.
This membership holds me accountable to an external standard of professionalism, consent and client care.
Client-Centred Approach
Central to my ethical practice is the principle of client autonomy and empowerment. I prioritise informed and empowered consent, ensuring that clients feel safe and comfortable with each aspect of their bodywork journey.
This includes open communication about the processes involved, the potential emotional responses, and the option of working with sexual energy. I encourage clients to express their needs and boundaries, supporting a collaborative environment where their individual needs are respected and honoured.
Confidentiality and Professionalism
All client interactions and personal histories shared during sessions are treated with the utmost discretion and respect. I am committed to creating a trusting atmosphere where clients can explore their bodies and emotions without fear of judgment or exposure.
Continuous Learning and Self-Care
A commitment to personal and professional growth is essential to my practice. By engaging in ongoing education and training I stay current with evolving practices and philosophies. My personal practices in Taoist Sexual Alchemy and Kundalini further enrich my understanding and effectiveness as a facilitator. This dedication to self-awareness and self-care allows me to bring my best self to each session, ensuring that I am grounded and present for my clients.
Alongside my client work, I teach this approach to therapists and healers through Full Body Alchemy, the academy I founded, where the Embodied Awakening Method is taught as an IIOHT approved certification. Your sessions always remain private and confidential.
Visit Full Body AlchemyTrauma Informed Practice
Working within such a sensitive and nuanced realm of sexual energy, it is essential to be aware of the client’s previous trauma and the potential to elicit trauma within a session.
As a Trauma-informed therapist, I have studied trauma, how it affects the nervous system, how to spot symptoms to prevent people going into overwhelm or disassociating, and what to do in these moments.
Learning how to navigate the effects of trauma is a prominent piece of this work. This is because the therapy involves releasing stored emotions that have been carried around for a long time. And to do it in a safe and aware manner is essential for safe and effective results.
The Trauma-Informed Practice model and using Somatic Body Awareness techniques to heal may be the missing pieces you have been looking for when traditional therapies for sexual trauma have not worked. I often have clients approach me saying that traditional psychotherapy, talk therapy or CBT has not been fully effective, and they are looking for something different that may shift something for them.
“Trauma is too much, alone. Healing is feeling, together.”
“Trauma is a fact of life. It does not have to be a life sentence.”
For Women, Specifically
For many women, this trauma carries an additional, gendered layer. Yoni is a Sanskrit term for the female genitalia, often referred to as the sacred space or the source of life.
Women, as life-givers, hold immense creative power, yet the feminine has long been suppressed in many cultures and systems, leaving many women with experiences of boundary violation, whether through relationships, medical procedures, or traumatic childbirth.
Because so much of this trauma is held specifically in the Yoni and pelvic area, healing this part of the body carries particular weight, and it can hold not only trauma from this lifetime but trauma passed down through the female lineage.
Gender Inclusivity
I specialise in supporting people who have female genitalia, and I have worked with people of different sexual preferences and gender identities.
What I Will Never Do
- I will never assume anything. On the day itself, nothing is assumed, and there is always ongoing informed consent.
- I will never rush or force anything. You are always encouraged to listen to your body, honour your own boundaries, and set your own pace.
- I will never approach an intimate space without first offering you options, and inviting you to breathe and notice how your body responds.
- I will never take a pause or a stop as rejection. It is celebrated.
- I will never allow intimate touching of my body. The session is about you being in the energy of receiving.
Feedback and Accountability
Working in this field is highly sensitive, and I hold my sessions with the utmost sincerity and respect.
I stand for female empowerment, for women to feel safe in their sensuality and reclaim full sovereignty and autonomy over their sexual experience. At the same time, much of this work involves trauma and the nervous system, which are complex and profound. Trauma can shape the lens through which we experience life, communication, and intimacy. Through this healing modality, the body is sometimes gently guided into states that touch the edges of trauma, so it can be seen, felt, and lovingly held, creating space for resolution and liberation.
Over the last six years of doing this work full time, I have evolved deeply. I’ve worked with over 600 clients, and I continue to grow, adapt, and refine my practice. Each session teaches me something new, and I learn not only from my clients but also through ongoing training, self-led study, and rich conversations with peers and allies in the field.
Even with all of this dedication, I may not always get it right. I am human, after all. When that happens, it becomes an opportunity to learn and repair.
Please feel free to leave feedback.
If at any point something in a session hasn’t felt right for you, I want you to feel empowered to share that with me. You can do so directly by filling out this form.
Share your feedbackIf you’d prefer not to contact me directly, you can instead reach out to a trusted third party, who can pass on feedback or help organise a mediation process for repair.
Allison Pilling, an experienced sexological bodyworker, teacher, and mentor: alipilling16@gmail.com